Software For Girls

I know how to make software stereotypically optimized for women. Listen to me, I have a blog. Online misogyny is one of the funnier vices.

Adobe Photoshop: Add a 'blur until virtually unrecognizable and then post on livejournal' button. In fact, make this the only visible part of the interface.

iTunes: iTunes is already made for girls.

Macromedia Dreamweaver: Replace entire application with a client that takes pictures from your camera. Send directly to Flickr/Facebook.

Microsoft Excel: Make negative numbers show up in extra-bold magenta by default. Add a 'send email to boyfriend inquiring about {$column}' right-click option to each row/column.

Mozilla Firefox: Automatically open tabs to livejournal, flickr, and Bejeweled on launch.

XCode: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yahoo! Messenger: If the user profile is set in the Philippines, download every single username ever made and send 'care to chat' messages. Include a button that auto-messages 'webcam/file send is broken right now'.