Fucking Ambien

So, I'm taking Ambien. This is because I can no longer take Lunesta, since it was making me sick. I was taking Lunesta because I have problems sleeping. I have problems sleeping because I'm manic. I'm manic because I'm better than you.

The first thing I'd like to tell you is that Ambien will fuck you up. You know that movie Memento? That guy who couldn't remember anything? Yeah. That's like, every evening after 7PM. Anterograde amnesia, for the record, is bad. I have driven to the store on this stuff. For all I know, I could be a murderer, a rapist, a spy. Who can tell? I have no memory.

The second thing is that Ambien is potentially habit-forming, which means I have to play with my dosages to try to keep from getting addicted to it. Apparently, it's not indicated for use past the six month mark. Just for the record, I have been manic and insomniac my entire life. I'm hoping I'll get switched to candy-flavored Xanax next, but the outlook remains bleak. Partly because the last time I took Xanax it clogged my nose, if you get my drift.

The third thing is that Ambien will knock you out, but it doesn't keep you asleep forever. This morning, I woke up at 4:30. Not wanting to stay awake for three hours before going to work, I decided to do the sensible thing and combine gin, tonic, and seroquel.

I am now at work and drunk. This sucks.