I Am Going To Rub Leopard All Over My Naked Body

We pre-ordered Leopard today, which is officially the first credit card purchase we've made since making the financial decisions that will slowly make me very, very rich (after which, I'll bury the woman in the backyard and fulfill my secret desire of having two macs). Along with this order, we also picked up the new iLife suite, which will allow us to make trendy movies involving us using our macs.

This Leopard thing is making me tremendously aroused. I'm serious. It's like Apple tapped in to my Y chromosome and extracted the DNA to sweet, sweet code. I mean, check out this feature list:

• Mail now officially does everything I use Thunderbird for, with the side effects of not taking an hour to load, not slowing down all my other apps, and making my groin all tingly.
• Ruby and Python bridges to Cocoa means that I can officially just dream up some crazy shit one night while hammered out of my mind and implement it. Never mind waking up the next morning and realizing that I just wrote a very convoluted forkbomb.
• Parental Controls means that I can finally stem the horrible tide of Digimon my boy insists on watching over and over.
• iCal sharing means that I can finally schedule events with my millions of friends! Except I hate all my friends, none of us use iCal, and none of us do anything except chat online and send each other cheesecake shots of our ex-girlfriends.
• Cover Flow in the Finder has just turned a massive archive of porn into a beautiful, slick archive of porn.
• Background video in iChat sounds like it would only be fun for two seconds, except in reality I foresee using it to stream movies with groups of friends. The internet is keeping me safe from movie theaters and the idiots that use them! Thank Apple.
• Safari now has every feature a real web browser should have except native keywords, which makes me want to cry. I have so many search keywords in Firefox that the link export once blew up a thumbdrive.
• TERMINAL HAS THE TABS NOW. REPEAT, TERMINAL NO LONGER MAKES EXPOSE USELESS.

Oh, Leopard, you sexy thing you. I can't wait for next Friday.