Mediocre Uses For Super Powers And The Total Power Trip I'd Still Be Getting

Flight

• I would get my New York cheesecakes from New York, my Philly cheesesteaks from Philadelphia, and my turkey from Turkey. Assuming that they have any turkeys there.
• If I could fly in a sitting-down position, I'd pretend I was driving an invisible car whenever I needed to go anywhere. I bet people would get a big kick out of me looking like I was gonna crash into them, then flying over their car.
• I would never use my front door. With the ability to fly up to my office, that gives me more opportunities for using razor wire and turrets as lawn decorations.

Poison Immunity

• The best drinking contest ever. I can imagine sending like six frat boys to the hospital with cirrhosis.
• Beehive soccer. Of course, that would only work if I had pain immunity or steel skin or something like that.
• Look, customs - no balloon! HA!

Energy Blast

• I would be an exterminator. For target practice.
• If Einsteinian calculations remain true, then energy blasts are a totally awesome way to lose weight while impressing the neighbors.
• I'd finally get one over on those sneaky carnies. BAM! I got your pyramid of bottles right here (motions to floor, sings Na Na Na Na, etc).
• I'd get rid of my microwave so I could have more counter space. No, seriously. That would be awesome.

Telepathy

• Rock-Paper-Scissors tournament champion, baby.
• I could also get rid of my telephone/instant messaging client.
• I could shop used car lots WITHOUT FEAR! BAHAHAHA!
• What's that you say, Miss Cleo? Nothing!? Well, I've got something I foresee in YOUR future. Prepare to receive some absurdist and/or disturbing mental imagery. For the next six hours. HA!

Teleportation

• Hide and seek/peek-a-boo with children would be totally awesome. Plus, I'd probably completely screw up their developmental perception of reality.
• Teleporting out of my clothes now officially the hottest thing ever.
• "Dude, didn't I just meet you down the hallway? That is like, the weirdest thing ever..."
• If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you and I together. Like this. Wait, let me try that again, I meant to keep my clothes on. Where are you going?

X-Ray Vision

• ZAP. Aw, did I give you radiation poisoning?
• Witness, as I tally the refractive index of diffusion through an atomic crystalline lattice! I can see DNA! Does it not amaze you?
• Being able to see that I am about to run out of cheese dip without opening the fridge.