Hitler Bad, Vandals Bad Also

From the second story vantage point of my bedroom, I can see into the backyard of my neighbors' house. It's a jungle of badly-spelled graffiti, the same tags that have been showing up around my neighborhood. And I mean, this stuff is pretty bad. It's like they all learned English in a night course, from that idiot Jimmy, who everyone hates.

I'm not quite sure what to do in this situation. I feel it's my civic duty to somehow inform the police, but it also seems like sort of a monumental waste to call in about neighborhood vandalism when the police are out pulling over drunks, fighting terrorists with flamethrowers, and saving America. On the other hand, if the vandalism continues, then the property values drop. The poor people will move in next door by obtaining magical liar's loans from Countrywide, who would sell a mortgage to Mussolini if they could just get him to sign. The sushi restaurants will be replaced by roach-infested taco stands, and the terrorists will win.

Nobody wants their children to grow up in Iranian taco-laden America, with Il Duce living next door, promising to make the trains run on time (even though the Desert Wind train route doesn't even run anymore, WTF Amtrak?). Maybe I should just get some exceptionally ugly thugs, who I know from the strip club, to go next door and politely beat the entrails out of those darn meddling kids. I want the boy and the girl to grow up eating sushi and driving minivans, not withdrawing from both world wars.