Look At All This Blow

So, the coke fairy stopped by our house to leave us a bunch of crack, which we all put in our mouths so we would turn into superheroes. There was so much of it we ended up just vacuuming it up, then smoking it directly out of the vacuum cleaner bag.

As you can see, we have freshly-purchased Vietnamese sweatshop children trained as EMTs, whose jobs are to make sure that nobody's heart stops. And, failing that, they're supposed to make sure that nobody can identify the remains. They don't get clothes, because I think rice is like a million dollars to them.

Really, once enough people keel over, the children like to antique them. Which is a horrible waste. Our solution is to stack the corpses like cordwood, then wall off that room. It's dead to us now. We have to start entering the house through the window in the half-bathroom. Where we keep the emergency drugs. You know, in case the coke fairy skips a night or something.