Taco Bell Submits To My Dastardly Whims

Merely months after McDonalds brought back the McRib temporarily, somebody at Taco Bell corporate finally got hit by my orbital mind control lasers, because they have brought back the holy grail of taste with the Club Chalupa. But what's this? They've changed it up somewhat to appeal to discerning restauranteurs. By calling it the Bacon Chalupa. And making it out of more bacon. I'm pretty sure they're setting a trap for me, where they will lay down a trail of Chalupas in the desert in order to lure me back to their cheap condo.

Oh, I'll put up some resistance at first. I'm not the kind of girl that you can just bring home with promises of deliciousness and expect to get past fifth base. But eventually, Taco Bell will brush my hair away from my ears, and whisper to me seductively, and tell me I'm pretty. Maybe the morning after I'll feel that bitter little twang, the sickening symphony of rationality telling me it was just the heat of the moment. But then I'll be full of bacon. I'll take the top down on the way home, and the chilly morning air will follow me the whole ride.