To satisfy my need to both increase violence and celebrate completely worthless holidays, I declare today Slapping Day. It's pretty cathartic to cut to the root of an issue, and then slap other people for being wrong.
| Target | Righteous Vengeance |
|---|---|
| Emo Bands | SLAP. STOP CARING. |
| Girls named some variation of Mackenzie | SLAP. STOP BEING TRENDY. |
| Jimmy Albright | SLAP. STOP LIVING. |
| Waitresses | OMG I HATE BEING TOUCHED I'M GOING TO TIP YOU ANYWAYS SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP |
In another instance, Jimmy Carter (who now looks exactly like the Cryptkeeper as played by Don Knotts) is "hinting" at supporting Obama. And by 'hinting', I quote: "My town ... is for Obama. My children and their spouses are pro-Obama. My grandchildren are pro-Obama. As a superdelegate, I would not disclose who I am rooting for, but I leave you to make that guess.
SLAP. Stop endorsing McCain.
1 comments:
Damn, I missed slapping day. Coulda, woulda, shoulda been there!
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