What you hope they mean: Sexy dress-up time.
What they actually mean: "I require aerospace materials to keep from steering this train towards muffinland."
What the personals say: "Enjoys meaningful conversation."
What you hope they mean: Lengthy, loving debates; a deft play of point and counterpoint.
What they actually mean: Important relationship decisions dictated by Cosmo.
What the personals say: "Athletic."
What you hope they mean: Attractive.
What they actually mean: Narcissistic.
What the personals say: "Likes going out"
What you hope they mean: Theaters, clubs, Burning Man.
What they actually mean: Several hours spent puking in a gutter, regularly, Sunday morning at 2AM.
What the personals say: "Devoted."
What you hope they mean: She will never leave you.
What they actually mean: Even after you sleep with her mother and donate all her belongings to Goodwill.
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